Open Letter to Two School Lads in St Albans

Hello Lads,

I know it’s half term and the break from school is a good time for hijinks but I think you crossed the line this evening and I hope after the comments I shouted at you, you realised this and did the right thing.

You see, nicking is one thing, especially from someone’s front garden, that’s easy if they’ve just left the stuff there, it’s almost inviting it isn’t it? But what you did in taking a baby walker from the front garden of that house in Victoria St was literally stealing from a baby and you don’t get that much lower than that without going to prison.

I know you’re too young to know about babies and things like that, but trust me on this one lads, there will be a little baby, probably under one year old who is going to be crying inconsolably because you thought it was funny to carry off their walker. Our ten month old has such a lovely look of satisfaction and achievement on her face as she waddles along the sitting room with her walker. There’s a little baby who won’t be able to do this because of your selfish actions. I hope you’re proud of yourselves, you pair of inconsiderate, thoughtless, pathetic bastards.

I do really hope this gets to you, maybe on of the local papers will print it on their letters page. Do the right thing, take it back or make recompense.