Effortless Cool

Someone told me I was cooler in real life than I came across as on the internet the other day. Not entirely sure their opinion counts for too much due to overt Northerness but nevertheless it did make me think. At school I wasn’t one of the uber-spanners but one or two of the uber-spanners did hang out with me to increase their chances of not having their school bags attached to the light fittings on a regular basis. I’d sort of progressed to the level of watching those around me getting picked on rather than getting picked on myself.

I suppose being 6ft 4in tall and not in the school rugger team made me stand out a bit but at least I didn’t have a briefcase, even if my hair was unmanageable. The side-quiff is now managed by brutal cutting and washing but it used to stand up like a shark fin when I was younger.

I’ve definitely grown into myself, both in terms of looks and self confidence (even though I’ve developed what is know as “the paunch” in the last few years) but I think I’m what is known in the business as a late bloomer.

What makes me laugh though is M’laddo and his easy class. He’s only 3 but he’s already choosing his own clothes and looking effortlessly cool as a result. At his age (and for around 3 times his age) I was still in M&S stuff that my Mum had picked. He’s a real ladies man where I had to wait until I mastered Latin and moved on to the more complex language of talking to girls before I managed to even string a sentence together to a member of the opposite sex without either passing out through effort or choking half to death on the sudden surplus of saliva that appeared.

For whatever reason, I was an immensely insecure child and teenager and part of me hopes that we’re giving both the boy and Fifi such secure and loving home that they wont have insecurities. It certainly wasn’t my upbringing because my brother was much like the boy, he was popular and cool. 5 inches shorter than me too, so maybe height is inversely proportional to self confidence?

Even to this day I’ve never put on an outfit, and marched into the bedroom with its full length mirror and said, “Wow! Me look really cool!”