How has it come to this?

where’s Trevor?

I’m not old, although at 36 some of you might think I’m positively ancient. I’m not, I’m just the same as I was at 21, just a little plumper, and able to grow more facial hair (just). But it’s 10pm and I’m actually worrying that I’m not going to get enough sleep and will be all tetchy tomorrow morning. How has it come to this? Even 6 or 7 years ago I’d sometimes stay up til 5.30am playing Football Manager on the computer and then get up a couple of hours later like nothing happened.

Most of it must be down to Fifi who does her adult location questionnaire every night at about 4am. For the uninitiated, this involves her lying comfortably under her duvet shouting “Mummy/Dadda, where are you?” loudly every 20-30 seconds for about 3 hours. If she thinks I’m out fighting crime dressed in spandex, she is going to be sorely disappointed at a future date when she finds out I mostly lie in bed with my head under the pillow trying to drown out her bellowing.