*Furtive eye movement*

Ever since wifey went on a special course for parenting under 5 year old boys, we’ve been using some of the techniques to give us an unfair advantage when dealing with the lad. Well perhaps its better to say we’ve used some of the techniques to level the playing field a bit since neither wifey or I condone hitting, shouting or hiding under the dining room table as a legitimate response to discourse, that does put us at an immediate disadvantage at times.

I now kneel down next to the boy when I want to talk to him properly about something important. I put my hand on his shoulder and try to make eye contact. This is currently proving hilarious, it’s as though he’s perfected the sparkly eye technique from The Men Who Stare at Goats, and he never actually looks at you for more than a couple of seconds. In fact I’ve learnt more about how his cute freckles are coming out than I have about anything else in my attempts at discourse.

Occasionally the battle cry of “No! Naughty daddy, you’re not allowed to look at me!” comes out, but more often than not we have our conversation whilst a brief wrestle occurs to keep him from scuttling off under the dining room table.

Still, it’s a start.