Video from the Goodyear Blimp

We had a flight on the Goodyear Blimp last week. For the whys of it, read wifey's blog post here. Meanwhile, sit back and enjoy the view :)

Easter and all that

We had the fun task of explaining to the boy why I was off for 4 days over the Easter bank holiday. He was naturally suspicious as when I'm off for more than a normal weekend, we either i) go away somewhere as it's our summer holiday or ii) he gets some presents as it's Christmas. Well, as it turned out he got a small gift from his potty Nan to celebrate the death and resurrection of our Lord.

We attempted to explain to him what Easter was actually about. Or rather wifey did while I kept quiet and smirked at how hard it was to explain it to the level a 4 year old could understand. To be fair I did chip in when the going got tough. We thought it was important that he should know that Easter isn't a rabbit & chocolate festival, despite what popular film and confectionery manufacturers would have you believe. Yes, no doubt like a lot of other Christian festivals, it nabbed the date from an existing pagan ritual (some sort of spring fertility festival in this instance), but since we're calling it Easter and celebrating Easter, I don't think that's particularly relevant.

Starting with reminding him about the birth of the baby Jesus at Christmas, we went on to discuss how Jesus died and came back from the dead at Easter.

There was a long thoughtful pause from the boy, who then declared, "He came back from the dead, just like Superman did."

Whilst he's technically correct that Superman did indeed (on more than one occasion) get resurrected, the circumstances and nature of the respective resurrections were somewhat different, so in that respect I would pull him up on the "just like" part. I'm astonished he actually knows enough about Superman to know stuff like that- he is only just 4. It's even more impressive since his interests as far as superheroes lie, falls mainly within the Marvel camp, and Supes is the mainstay of ultra rivals DC.

I think maybe this time next year we might invest in a preschoolers book about Easter, much like we did for Christmas. It undoubtably wont involve superheroes but might actually get the message across a bit better than we did.

Maltings Dental Surgery, St Albans

An open letter to the Maltings Dental Surgery, St Albans:

Dear Mrs Claire Taylor (Practice Manager),

Thank you for your receptionists concerns over a chunk of my tooth falling out on a tooth that's already been filled once. She appeared so concerned, she made an appointment for 8 days time. That leaves me 8 days where I can't have a hot or cold drink or chew on that side of my mouth. 8 days to wonder if the hole is too close to the gum line and I'll lose the tooth. Still, on the plus side, this is going to help my diet tremendously.

At best receptionists at doctors and dental surgeries always appear to be some sort of gate keeper, a denier of service, but this is the first properly callous treatment I've been on the receiving end of. I'm inordinately impressed with her skills though, being able to diagnose the severity of my ailment over the telephone, despite my protestations to the contrary is truly remarkable. Perhaps some sort of Nobel Prize for science is in order? I have read that the US Government had a remote viewing programme in place in the 1970's, this was highlighted in the popular George Clooney film, the Men Who Stare at Goats. Your staff seem to have perfected the art of remote dentistry, and for that I must applaud them!

Your website says a lot of things, the word proactive jumps out at me. How is it proactive leaving someone with tooth ache for over a week? Apparently you have a very satisfied customer list built up over the last 13 years. I'm not one of them.

I shall limp on stoically bearing the undoubted agony until you can be bothered to treat me. I wonder if this has anything to do with all my treatments being NHS, rather than private up to this point? Who knows, I'm in too much pain to rationally think about it.

Kind regards,

Alex

Premier Inn Family Rooms

Out of the blue (well not quite, I do have a contact me button in my sidebar, so I should sort of expect this sort of thing), I had an email from Premier Inn a little while ago telling me in both an informative but chatty manner about their rather spiffing family rooms.

Without a single hint of Lenny Henry, they told me at the weekends you can book a room that sleeps a family of four for as little as £29 per night. That's per night, not per night per person. To show how top their facilities are, and also to show that a lot of their hotels are cunningly situated by large family tourist attractions, Premier Inn kindly offered to put up the 'Cool' family in the Heathrow Premier Inn and also provided us with free entry to the nearby Legoland.

To make sure we tested the service properly and in no way got special attention, we accidentally turned up a day early. Asmir took this completely in his stride though, as he checked us in and gave us an empty family room. Check in was cheerful and easy. To make it as realistic as possible, we had come to Heathrow from Upminster, where we'd had a flight on the Goodyear Blimp. It was gone 7pm, both the kids were knackered and we just needed something easy.

Fortunately it turned out very easy. The only delay to anything was the friendly staff constantly asking us if we were okay or needed anything. Our room was on the ground floor, was spotlessly clean and had three beds, one floor level and ideal for Fifi, all made up. We watched a bit of Corrie while the kids were washed and then settled down for a story. I popped to the in-hotel Costa Coffee to get a large milk so Fifi could have her bedtime beaker of whole milk. It was a very reasonable 75p, and the chap serving said they get a lot of parents asking for milk.

One nice feature was the secondary spy hole in the door at eye level for the kids, which to me summed up how well thought out it all was. We got a reasonable nights kip, the beds were comfy but all of us in one room and the excitement of the prospect of the trip to Legoland the next morning meant there was a bit of running around and bouncing until about 9ish. Fifi went to bed with her mummy and I meant to lift her into her bed (which I was lying on) once she'd nodded off. Unfortunately I beat her to it and was asleep before anyone, so she spent the night sleeping perpendicularly to wifey while I had an incredibly restful nights sleep. Even though the hotel is right next door to the airport at Heathrow, the secondary double glazing kept all the noise out.

Breakfast really set us up for the day, an all you can eat buffet of traditional cooked fair, cereals and fruit that set us up nicely for the day. Even the confused little old lady who querulously demanded to be given a continental breakfast as she didn't know what went into one finished her breakfast happy.

I must admit I am a great fan of self catering but for the purpose of going somewhere for a day trip that's out of day trip range, staying somewhere like a Premier Inn is a cracking idea. Legoland was less than a 20 minute drive from the hotel and I can honestly say I had more harassment from the kids wanting to leave at the crack of dawn than I did with our entire stay at the hotel.

Depending on where you stay, the rooms start at £29 per night, as I said, and eat in breakfast is £7.99 per adult (kids free), with parking at a tenner in London, and £6 elsewhere. From my BC (Before Children) days, I think that compares very favourably with a B&B, with the added benefit that B&B's wont let you stay one night at the weekend without some sort of horrific surcharge. And if you're lucky, you wont bump into Lenny Henry either!

The problem with Wikipedia...

It's Wikipedia in particular, although the internet as a whole is also to blame really. Oh, what's the problem? Self diagnosis of medical conditions.

Thanks to Wikipedia I'm now half convinced I've suffered from trichotillomania in the past. When it happened I was exactly within the age bracket it often manifests itself in and was also under quite a lot of stress. I could have done without knowing that really and thus far I've managed to stop myself looking at the OCD entry because I'm sure I'd find half a dozen things to self diagnose myself as there too.

I've obviously got too much time on my hands if I can idly trawl Wikipedia looking for illnesses to suffer from. Why don't I seem to have a spare moment then?!

Other peoples children wouldn't...

...

• attempt to climb into the back of your pyjamas instead of having a nice cuddle when you bring them in with you at 6am;
• play the standing there and exchanging punches game with their little mates instead of playing nice games;
• jump out of the bath and run, soaking and naked, to hide under the bed rather than simply look at the ceiling to stop shampoo going in their eyes when they're having a hair wash;
• wail at the prospect of eating anything that has a colour. Including but not limited to broccoli, carrots, any sort of salad but strangely excluding tomatoes, whilst still professing terrible all encompassing hunger;
• get out of bed for up to two hours during the evening and generally run about like a loon but refuse to get out of bed in the morning and just lie there shouting until someone comes and gets you;
• be anywhere near as loved and treasured as my two are!

Gnomeo & Juliet- review

To celebrate the fact that Gnomeo & Juliet is out on DVD, Blu Ray and VHS (okay I lied about the VHS) on 2 June 2011, a few of us bloggers got invited to a private screening at the Apollo on Regents Street on Sunday. I even bumped into Cherished by Me in the Ladies toilet*.

A modern take on Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet, with gnomes, lawn mowers, voice talent such as Richard Wilson, Ozzy Osbourne and Jason Statham (!), and a really well worked sound track of Elton John numbers, this is a film that is so packed with invention, I really need to watch it again to see all the clever little things I missed.

This is all very odd in a way as the film is aimed at quite young children. Our two year old loved a lot of the slapstick humour but the boy loved the story as much. Unlike some films we've seen recently though, it had plenty to offer the adults. A gnome in a Borat style mankini with sunburnt buttocks, a slightly insane plastic flamingo, lawn mower racing that could almost have come from Grease and internet shopping were particular highlights for me. It's an endlessly inventive film but it's never too busy and always keeps it's sense of humour.

The story follows the star crossed lovers , Gnomeo (DID YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID THERE?) and Juliet, who are a pair of gnomes and live in the blue garden and red garden respectively. There's a feud going on between the two gnome clans, that gets in the way of the illicit love. You don't really need to know more, the prologue says as much, and sets the scene quite wonderfully.

I didn't go into the viewing expecting much I must admit but I came out with the strange sensation of actually wanting to watch the film again, not least to see if I could spot a few more of the vocal talent. The boy loved it and demanded to watch it again on Blu Ray when we got home. Sadly I had to let him down gently- it's not out until the start of June. But when it is, we'll be getting it!

*it's okay, I'm not a perv, the gents were out of order so we all had to use the Ladies.

Run away! Run away!

We're at that stage with the two kids now where they're both fairly independent in terms of locomotion. Fifi has just got a scooter and is gaining confidence and speed, two things the lad has in spades. This makes it a bit tricky going out with the two of them at the same time. Fortunately in this sense the lad is usually really well behaved, he never goes out of sight and always stops when I give him a shout.

Unfortunately the little so and so isn't quite as well behaved on foot. I suppose it's because threats of having his scooter taken away make sense to him but you can't exactly threaten to take his feet away when he runs off.

His running away isn't confined to a bit of a random sprint when we're outside either, he often informs me "I am off to my bedroom and you shall not follow me!", which is the prelude to a speedy stomp upstairs and a loud slamming of door. After an indeterminate interval (if there is a logic to it, it's a 4 year olds logic so I can't follow it), there is usually an opening of doors and an even louder shout of "Daaaad! You must come and get me now!"

I tend to wear my trainers out and about with the kids now- it's safer on the off chance I have to out accelerate either of them :)

Speeding Children

We got our lad a scooter for his Christmas pressie when he was 2 years and 8 months old. He took to it carefully and rightly demanded to wear his crash helmet at any opportunity (even when not on his scooter). Nowadays he scoots past with one leg in the air at speed but he still wears his helmet.

Now the wee lass at two years and 3 months has had her dream come true, her own scooter, and is probably right at this moment bombing it around somewhere, inducing feelings of mild terror in her mummy.

I don't think our kids are alone in being able to achieve terrifying speeds on their scooters but in our area they seem pretty unique in actually having a safety helmet on whilst doing it. When I was just finishing my education, our school wouldn't let you cycle in without a helmet and it's still the case nowadays. But nobody seems to apply the same thing to scooters. If the front wheels hit a crack in the pavement, a twig or any other obstruction, the forward momentum of the scooter stops, and the child doesn't, but goes head first over the handles. To start with, the kids are higher off the ground than they are on a bike, so we thought a helmet was a no brainer really.We've had one serious high speed dirt incident with the boy, and it's only his helmet that stopped him planting his face full speed on the tarmac. As it was I had to carry him home with a split lip.

Shifting the kids around-guest post

There's a rather (in)famous picture of me on the interweb with a pair of small children attached to me. Although we've had more pushchairs and prams in our time than any sane person has a right to have, I honestly don't think we could have had half the fun we've had without a selection of baby carriers. They give you the freedom to go places that are just inaccessible with a pushchair, be it the beach (and believe me I've pushed a McLaren over sand) or on a rather hilly stretch of walk at the RSPB headquarters at Sandy, as pictured.

Having the boy balanced on the back of me in a rucksack obviously countered the weight of the wee lass and didn't give me an opportunity to play the martyr at all. Honest. It was a particularly hot day when we decided to go out for a walk. The lad was strolling around on his own at the time but given the hilly nature of the area and the distance we intended to cover, we thought it prudent to take both child transportation devices and we were glad we did in the end. We didn't see an inordinate number of birds but the countryside was nice, and with the prospect of ice creams at the end, I did my silent suffering with panache.

The eagle eyed among you may have spotted I'm wearing a Baby Bjorn in that picture, and you'll find that brand and a lot more at Mamas and Papas website,http://www.mamasandpapas.com . The Baby Bjorn was one of the few carriers we had or tried that would fit both me and wifey, and she tended to use it round the house a lot to get chores done whilst pacifying a small clingy child. I never saw it in practice but I can imagine her stoically pushing the vacuum cleaner around whilst a small irritated child dangled in front of her.

Birthday alert!

So our little boy isn't quite as little any more. The weekend just past saw his 4th birthday and I can't quite believe how big he is now. At times he can seem quite grown up, at others he's just a shy little boy who needs hugs and support from his mummy or daddy.

We did him a little party in the museum's garden for his friends. Nothing too elaborate (although wifey worked her socks off organising it), some games, a treasure hunt a buffet and thanks to their incredible genoristy, some races with a few happy hopperz. All the girls predictably fought over the pink one, whilst the zebra was the bounce of choice for the lads.

As ever the lad was quite shy at the start but by the end he was running around like a loony. We don't think he was brilliantly well yesterday, which may have accounted for some of his subdued nature but the excitement of birthday had woken him up a couple of hours early after going to bed later than usual the night before, so that probably played a part too.

He's never great communicating to us what he's done or what he's enjoyed, so it was interesting to hear what he had to say to our childminder this morning. He detailed his highlights, which included his Lego Party Cake, his Hotwheels Battle Force 5 Sabre car (the newest bane of my life, aimed at 4+ and fiddly enough for an adult to have trouble with), and the treasure hunt at the museum, and having his friend round after the party to play for a bit. It was a stream of excited dialogue that went on for ages and it was quite an eye opener as to what he finds important.

My non child related highlight was being told that the party that some of his friends had come from, the one I mentioned before, wasn't as good as the boys. Not that I'm competitive but if someone knowingly organises a party ten days away from their kids birthday on your childs birthday, they deserve their just desserts.

It's incredible how much the boys vocabularly has grown, even since Christmas,and this showed itself well in the exclamations as he opened presents. We opted for lots of smaller presents this time, and chose to mostly add to stuff he already had, so he got some more Lego, some more Imaginex and some Ben 10 action figures (all spread between us, grandparents and Uncles and Aunties). Of particular interest were the exclamations of "My God!" which wifey owned up to saying in front of him.

All in all then, I think he had a pretty good time. Unfortunately we've now lost our good behaviour lever with him. I wonder how many days there are until Christmas?

Cinema Paradiso DVD rental service- review

Cinema Paradiso is a bit of a hidden treasure. When everyone says film hire, the name that automatically springs to mind is Lovefilm but they don't have a range of films that's any larger than Cinema Paradiso (exact comparisons are hard since Lovefilm gives a total number of titles that includes videogames).

So now that the L word has been mentioned and gotten out of the way, what's Cinema Paradiso like to actually use? Initial impressions are good, it's a nice clean interface and the sign up procedure is simple but of course the proof is in the pudding and in this instance the pudding is made up of several ingredients: the range of films, the delivery time and the ease of use.

Cinema Paradiso's range of films is pretty good, covering new releases are a large back catalogue of films spanning a wide selection of genres. I'm happily into watching world cinema stuff with subtitles and everything, and even I'm well catered for. In terms of the speed of service, I was pretty astonished. I'd signed up on the Tuesday, made my initial wishlist of films and was watching the first couple of them less than 48 hours later. That was pretty impressive in itself. The website is also quite straight forward to use- you can pick genres, have a look at new releases or look at popular/high rated films for inspiration. They also do Blu Ray films via an opt in process, presumably to stop technophobes getting confused and renting Blu Rays when they only have a DVD players.

It's ideal for us as we have two kids and a trip to the high street to buy or borrow a film invariably ends up with the latest Peppa Pig opus clutched in the hands of the two year old whilst the 4 year old clings to something wholly more inappropriate. £8.16 a month gets you 4 films a month (2 at a time) but there are cheaper options. Since I walk past a couple of post boxes on the way to work, it's an easy and convenient process.

Cinema Paradiso do a free trial option, so its worth having a shufty, even if you use the "L" service.


I was given a 3 month promotional membership of Cinema Paradiso to evaluate the service and write this review. Otherwise I was not provided with any other inducement.

Top tips for parents from a wise man

A bearded wise man, yesterday

These are my practical tips for parenting in the real world. If you have the time to lovingly hand grind organic spelt to make your own flour for home made bread, this isn't the list for you and if you've just introduced young jonquil to his third language at the age of 4, get thee behind me Satan.

1. You can tell if your child is seriously injured in one easy step: offer them a sweet and if they stop making a terrible fuss and ask for the sweetie they were just making a terrible fuss in the first place for the sake of it. If they carry on making a fuss you're in for the duration and it could be serious but at least you have sweets.
2. Chose your fights. If your boy can technically dress himself, don't re-inact the Battle of Trafalgar in his bedroom every morning just to get him to dress himself for school. He's a boy, we're idle, get used to it.
3. If they don't eat their dinner, they don't eat their dinner. Do not offer them 3 different alternatives or they will pursue the course of action commonly known as "getting you at it". No child will starve to death after not eating one dinner they've temper tantrumed over because it wasn't the 14th consecutive meal constituted mainly from beans of the baked variety.
4. Make sure you have time for idly loafing and/or arsing about with the kids. It's too easy to organise activities when half the time pissing about with the large cardboard box that the vacuum cleaner was delivered in is the best fun ever. Even if it solely involves hitting the box with large sticks whilst shouting "Light Sabre!!"
5. Mutually babysit for friends so you can go out together is an awesomely good thing. You'll probably end up talking about the kids anyway but at least they wont be hanging off of you screaming for attention whilst giving you acid indigestion and you can talk frankly about how much they wind you up at times. If you have no friends with similar aged kids, try other friends and find out their Achilles heel (chocolate, wine, English Oak hotdogs, whatever) and mercilessly exploit it. Your sanity requires this.
6. There is no tactful way to tell your parents or your inlaws* that their ideas on parenting are so disturbing that you feel lucky to have made it out of the cradle and if they attempt any of them on your pride and joy you'll excommunicate them forever**. 
7. If you have to rely on lists written by self proclaimed wise men on the internet, you're probably doomed to failure anyway so pour yourself a large glass of wine, put CBeebies on and try to make the best of it.

There you have it. 7 points, and not because the number 7 is particularly holy in Judaism either. I'm not Jewish but share their affinity for certain types of fish you know.

*generally of course. My parents and inlaws are the obvious exception to the rule. Honest

**research and improved understanding of things alter over time, meaning proscribed advice like laying a baby on its tummy so if it vomits at night it doesn't choke to death (1970's teaching) have now been superseded by stuff like cot death prevention about putting babies on their back. 

Shriek!!! Spider!

I've mentioned before how good value Fifi is with creepy crawlies. The other week we were out in the garden pottering around and saw the first few ladybirds of the year out and about. The Boy remembers letting them crawl over his hands last year and jumped right back in to it all. Fifi on the other hand weighed them up and decided to shriek "spider!" at the top of her lungs and burst into tears.

Once I calmed her down the next 10 minutes took an all too predictable path. She ran around the garden, spotting ladybirds, bits of twig and even possibly the occasional actual spider, getting increasingly more hysterical until we had to go in. Good job the boy hadn't dug out any worms by that point.

I wonder what she would have made of this little critter that I saw on my way home last night....

...and Trevor Francis track suits from a mush in Shepherds Bush

I never thought I'd be walking out of a funeral service to the closing theme from Only Fools and Horses but it seemed strangely apt.

It was strange to see my brother buried today. Strange because although I met him when I was little I never knew him. He was my mum's son from her first marriage and here was a whole life told that was completely new and alien to me. He had family and friends, lots and lots of friends. It was a stark contrast to my Granddads funeral- I could have got all the attendees bar the old fella himself into our Zafira.

I feel a traitor to Granddad for being more upset at my unknown brothers funeral today than I was at his but he was in his 90's, didn't have a young family and it was probably his time, although we'll all miss him having said that.

I know it's daft feeling remorse at the death of someone I didn't know. He was back in contact with my Mum though and she's told me of all the plans she had for a big get together this summer. I suppose I'm vicariously sharing the grief of my Mum and his closer family members and mourning the loss of the potential of what could have been.

KLM are going to rock you (with their Secret Cities Competition)

KLM will hopefully forgive me for the appalling pun in the title of this post, I've always been a big fan of the KLF and KLM are only one letter different. KLM are running a rather spiffing competition they've entitled the Secret Cities competition.

Until Friday April 24, KLM's twitter followers have a chance of winning 2 flight tickets every week, to his/her choice of the 5 destinations of that week’s Secret Cities. Basically what you have to do is follow KLM on twitter  and have a look at their twitter stream at 4pm every day. At this time KLM will tweet a photo taken in the secret city of the day.

Followers have to guess where the city is and whoever clicks closet to the actual photo on google maps basically wins. Out of the five winners for the week, one for each day, the person who gets the closest to the source of the photo in the respective city is the winner. You can enter every day but obviously only your closest entry will count!

Winners are announced every Monday. I've managed to make it sound far more complicated than it actually is, if you have a look at the contest details, you'll see how straight forward it is.

I've been having a crack at it this all this week and haven't managed to find a way to cheat at it, so I'm having to rely on my knowledge of geography and famous landmarks. This is proving a bit tricky as my last passport expired with the last 4 years of it's life being spent in a drawer. Still, I've renewed it now so I've got the added incentive of trying to recoup some of the inordinate cost with some fabby prizes.

So good luck with your guesses, just try not to make them too good though, this is a competition I'm taking part in after all :)

Sponsored Post

Partage propulse par ebuzzing

Memory can be a funny thing

I drove my brother down to Granddad's funeral yesterday. Due to timings and what not it over complicated the journey and added too much time for what was a minimal additional distance but I was happy for the company so I didn't mind too much.

Bro hasn't seen Granddad since Nan's funeral about 6 years ago, and we've only seen him two or three times (and not since Fifi was born), so I suppose it was obvious that his memories of Granddad would be a little more historic than mine.

The things I remember most about Granddad were the explanations about technical stuff and being slipped the odd 20p after a day trip to see them to spend on comics (20p could have got me a copy of the Beano and the Dandy at that point in time) but I guess it's more what I've forgotten that makes me sit up and think.

Bro remembers some aspects of a weeks "holiday" we had staying with them when Mum & Dad went off on a proper grown ups holiday. I'm sketchy when it happened, I don't think it was secondary school but when he told me of what he remembered, it immediately registered.

He remembered walking along the Brighton promenade with Granddad holding a handful of tiny stones. Every time he saw a topless sunbather on the beach below, Granddad would drop one on her chest with a cheeky grin and we'd scuttle off. They weren't big enough to hurt, just large enough to make the sunbathers jump slightly. So if you're in your 50's now and used to sunbathe topless on the beach at Brighton, apologies for my Granddad.

I think that's the Granddad I'd like to remember, a retired gent in his smart clothes with a cheeky sense of humour, rather than the permanently ill 90 something he's been for the last 6 or 7 years.

Here's to you Granddad.

Shell V-Power Unleaded and Diesel- a trip to the Research Labs

If there is one completely irrelevant thing I learnt from my attendance at the Shell-V Power Network of Champions two day event, it's I look damn sexy in a lab coat. As evidenced by the picture to the right. The photographer has immediately made it on to my Christmas card list, even if he hasn't used a spider to colour calibrate his monitor .

Fortunately there were many relevant things I learnt whilst a guest of Shell too. I've always been a bit interested in science, ever since I managed to scrape a C grade at A level chemistry, so it was interesting to see and hear some things that went outside of the theoretical and into the practical. It was certainly better than desperately trying to grasp some of the more theoretical parts of physics that crop up in some of the science fiction I have a habit of reading.

One thing I'm still struggling to get my head around is the engineering involved in the internal combustion engine, particularly those of a diesel variety. The precision combined with the requisite strength in things like the injectors, which operate under the pressures many times that which would crush a submarine on the ocean floor are really mind blowing. In a modern diesel car engine, the injector holes can typically be as small as 100 microns in diameter, which is comparable to the thickness of a human hair. If a diesel engine is operating at 3,000 rpm, then that means fuel is being injected into each cylinder 25 times every second, or about 17 times per second at 2,000 rpm. The actual injection of fuel itself takes place in about 2-3 milliseconds (2-3 thousandths of a second) and thats a shorter period of time than even my tolerance for watching Dora the Explorer, for some sort of context. It's still not as short as the shortest recorded human event, the New York Second (the period of time between the lights turning green and the taxi behind you standing on it's horn in New York). Given the ludicrous precision of all of this, it sort of stands to reason that if things get dirty, they're going to struggle to work as they should.

I think it was the great Arthur C Clarke who once said, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." and to a degree some of the engineering feats that surround us on a daily basis in our cars are pretty close to witchcraft as far as I'm concerned.

I've got to admit I've always thought that petrol was petrol was petrol, and to that point, diesel was diesel was diesel (and that's as technical as I usually get, believe me) but after finding out exactly what the boffins had to say on the subject I'm no longer sure on the matter.

Diesel peril

I've never actually owned an oil burner (as apparently trendy people in the know refer to diesels as) but I do know from the garage forecourt it can be a messy bugger if you spill it. Seeing a disassembled diesel engine that hadn't done an inordinate amount of mileage really made me think how this mess can affect an engine though. The timings involved in making combustion work are very precise and a number of things can disrupt engine operation leading to incomplete combustion. What this in turn leads to are deposits and the infamous snigger triggering situation where Shells lead fuel scientist warned us of the perils of "dirty holes".

Basically deposits (carbon based if you're interested) can build up on the teeny tiny holes in the injectors. Since these are exposed to both extreme pressure and temperature, the deposits are durable little buggers and they don't get shifted on their own. After time they can really reduce the efficiency of the engine by causing non optimal combustion, leading to a loss of power and a related reduction in economy since an engine working harder to do the same thing isn't going to be as efficient.

Petrol drama

Something similar happens with petrol engines although it doesn’t always involve injectors because older (or my Seat Ibiza's case traditional) petrol engines don’t have them. Something else I learnt! Instead of the injectors that aren’t there getting coated with deposits, the inlet valves to these older engines get gunked up. The end result is basically the same though, the engines efficiency takes a knock and it loses power.


In modern petrol engines you will apparently find a fuel injection system. Fuel injection is now the principal means of getting petrol into the engine, and has essentially replaced carburettors. This is obviously bad news for Silver Hatch Race Track, since Roary and co are now owned by the very outdated Mr Carburettor. In these modern engines, the problems are very similar to those found in diesel cars.

Shell V-Power Unleaded is formulated for a powerful cleaning action to help prevent these deposits forming in the first place and to help clean away power-robbing deposits that may have been left behind by other fuels. By doing this Shell reckon their Shell V-Power Unleaded can help to keep new cars performing like new for longer and restore power and performance that may have been lost through deposit formation. Think of it like your toddler running around with an enormous poo sitting in their nappy against a nice fresh clean one. Or don't, it might give you post traumatic stress disorder. I just had a flashback that's left me needing a nice cup of tea.
The unique blend of additives that Shell V Power diesel and unleaded has in it does some clever trickery via the medium of detergent to remove these crusted on deposits in both petrol and diesel engines. The boffins reckon after about tank fulls the difference becomes noticeable, as you can see from the image on the left. One of those injectors looks a bit grubby and the other doesn’t. Have a wild intuitive stab in the dark as to which one comes from an engine run on Shell V Power (hint it’s not the grubby one).

It’s certainly been an eye opener to me and it did get me thinking. I asked the head sciency honcho if fuel differentiation was like digital camera differentiation- basically determined by the marketing department. Camera makers have a drive for higher and higher megapixels which doesn’t equate to better pictures (stuff like lens quality, sensor size etc are equally as important) but simply allow them to market their stuff as better. He said he couldn’t comment on the opposition (which is fair enough since other fuel companies wouldn’t have had a right of reply) but felt that the stuff they put in makes a real world difference. Since I didn’t know what the differences were before I was asked to take part in the Shell V Power Network of Champions I suppose he’s either speaking the truth or the marketing dept need to be taken outside to the car park and booted round it :)

Either way I've invested a few of my hard earned pounds in filling both our cars up with the stuff to see if it makes a difference. Apparently given the many different engines and configurations out there, Shell can't give a hard and fast answer to when I should see a difference, but I'm reliably informed that I should see a difference after 3 or so tanks. So I've decided to ditch the supermarket petrol and put my trust in the boffins at Shell. I'll let you know how I get on...

This is one of a number of events Shell have invited me on this year. Although I'm not being paid to take part, I am getting access to some things that are exciting and more than a bit exclusive but I have made a promise to myself to be impartial, otherwise what's the point? As I’ve mentioned before they are genial hosts but they were also very open to questions. I've gathered a few from tweeps and blog comments and will be putting those to the boffins shortly. I like to think that I’ve a questioning mind (I am after all the person who has to rationalise the science behind idle day dreams), so I don’t tend to take easy answers and habitually ask off the wall stuff at the drop of a hat. So if there is anything you’d like me to quiz Shell about, do ask, as I’m more than likely to prod them with it!

I'm sitting in the Badgers Watch

Outside Brighton, drinking a cup of coffee, waiting to go to my granddads funeral.

It's one of those awkward meetings of family members that only gather at funerals. I've just bumped into my cousin Nick who I last saw at my Nans funeral 6 years ago.

I'm waiting for today to be over. Not long to go now....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone on the move!

Rio Film Review

Sadly Duran Duran in their heyday were unwise to this film called Rio, probably because it wasn't due to be made for another 25 years or so. Shame really, as it's one of the more entertaining kids films I've seen in a while. It's from the makers of Ice Age, and there's something of the humour and attitude that was found in those 3 films here on show in Rio.

Rio is fresh though, one of the few films out at the moment that isn't part of an ongoing franchise. The story follows Blu, a bird who was bird-napped as a youngster and shipped off from Brazil to America. He's raised by the lovely human Linda, becoming good friends with her but things start going awry when he's roped into a breeding programme to save his species back in Brazil. More bird-napping, several chases and a hot pant clad bulldog at carnival pepper what is basically a love story but it's so bright and colourful, the plot is really incidental (even though it has one).

The 3D isn't too intrusive but is a bit much for the little under 4's. Our two managed most of the run time without fiddling with their 3D glasses too much, which to me is indicative of the story and great visuals.

If you get a chance to see Rio over the Easter break, give it a go, it's got a great heritage and is something fresh too.

The 8pm give up

After a full weekend of the boy attempting to give himself a hernia by desperately trying to squeeze a few drops of urine out every ten minutes for a couple of hours after bedtime in some sort of futile attempt to avoid going to bed, we gave up last night.

As soon as the kids were in bed, we went to bed ourselves. This didn't stop the ambitious lad but we eventually turned out all the lights so he had the choice of haranguing us in the scary darkness or returning to the safety of his still lit room. His room won out eventually but not before another couple of wees, a huge poo and the rather eccentric demand to have a feast delivered to his bedroom. By the point he tucked himself up in his bed though, he was probably the last person awake in the house.

We're not forcing him to bed particularly early but I think he has come to a secret arrangement with his sister. He takes the late shift, and she takes the early one. between them, the can sometimes manage to leave us child-free for a mere 7 hours a day and I like more than 7 hours kip a night...

Hop- film review

There are many things in the world that are a bit odd if you think about them too much. Hop is one of those things but it doesn't stop it being a cracking film that should keep your kids entertained over the Easter break.

The whole Easter Bunny thing is a lot more developed over in America than it is here if Hop is anything to by and a lot of the logic of it went over my head- at times it seemed like Father Christmas with Rabbits and sleigh like contraptions at the wrong time of year- but then you don't really need to follow the logic of a kids film when you have Russell Brand voicing a rabbit that drums along whilst singing I Want Candy.

If you can get passed the cultural baggage of Easter over the other side of the pond, Hop is a great film. I have to admit, from the posters I'd seen I didn't realise it was a mix of live action and computer generated animation, and if I had I would have thought twice because at almost 4, the boy definitely prefers his kids films animated. I needn't have worried though because he loved it, as did his two year old little sister. There's just the right amount of slapstick for little kids to laugh themselves silly over, the Easter chicks are cute and nefarious by turn and E.B. is a great counter point to James Marsdon's loafer character.

For adults there's Russell Brand, which is great if you like him, less so if you don't. Fortunately I like him  and he pretty much deliveries his usual sort of dialogue, without the sweary stuff he's famous for. A lot of it will go over the head of the kids but that's okay because he's a funky rabbit.

At the heart of the film is a story of growing up and taking your responsibilities squarely on, both from the rabbit lead and the human but it doesn't overly moralise and gets on with the action well.

If you fancy seeing a film with the Easter bunny in over the holidays, this is the bunny film to watch!