I don’t do memes

But if I did, I’d do this one from JallieDaddy .

yes, blurred.

Sod it, I’ll do it because I’m on the campaign trail for two parenting blog awards (The MADS and the BiBs) and if you’ve come here to find out why you should vote for me BEFORE I’ve made my campaign music video (it’s a tradition, an old charter or something), this one will give you a bit more of an insight into little old me.

I’ve got twelve questions to answer and a zero chance of passing it on to anyone else because I have to draw the line somewhere. Here we go…

1) Would you describe yourself as a ‘glass half-full’, ‘glass half-empty’, ‘just grateful to have a glass’ or ‘why isn’t this glass crystal? And full of Cristal?’ type of person? And why?

Half full, with the bottle left on the side for me to polish off at my leisure. My unerring positiveness can really irritate my wife.

2) How important to you in your blog writing is correct grammar, punctuation & spelling?

It’s a blog post, not a text message. If I read a book, a magazine article or a copy of the Beano, I don’t expect a plethora of spelling mistakes. Why should a blog post be any different?

3) Jedward: Evolutionary throwback or the future of mankind?

Social Darwinism shows that as a species in the West we’re actively encouraging stupid people to breed more than clever people, so Jedward are a taste of what’s to come.

4) While writing this post I came to see that my life could be, somewhat crudely,  summarised by my scars. Have you had any unusual insights into your life recently, & if so what? (That question almost sounds as if it could have come straight out of ‘Blind Date’. Sorry).

I was listening to the one hit wonder from the 70’s, Chicory Tip’s “Son of my Father” the other day. It occurred to me that I’m much like the song, it sounds jolly, is pretty incomprehensible and tries to not outstay it’s welcome.

5) What are your pet hates?

Dog owners who don’t clear up their pooches mess. It’s irritated me so much I have a website about it. I don’t dislike the dogs, it’s not their fault, but the owners should be forced to eat it.

6) What in your life most brings you joy?

It’s a toss up between being loved by my family or listening to great music very very loudly. The two aren’t particularly compatible and if you have a solution to reconcile them I’d love to hear it.

7) Do you move around a lot, like me, or have you mainly lived in the same place?

I’ve lived in St Albans for over ten years now. 22 years, with 4 off for University, in the same place before that. I’m inertia made flesh.

8) Do you have a “It shoulda been me!” story? And if so, what is it?

Yes. Set to music. See it here in all it’s glory.

9) What is your main claim to fame?

We were walking around Great Ormond Street once, minding our own business on the pavement by the pottery shop, where cinemas Rupert Everitt rounded the corner on his bike and headed straight at me. I refused to jump out of his way because i) he was on the pavement and ii) I was particularly overweight back then, so he swerved massively, nearly fell off, and cycled away staring daggers at me over his shoulder. All I could think of was what a pile of tosh My Best Friends Wedding had been.

10) How long have you been blogging & what prompted you to start?

Getting on for 3 years as a “parent” blogger but I handed coded my first website (complete with the tag) back in 1994. I’m old school. It was called Swing your Pants, and reviewed the live music scene on campus at Lancaster University. Since then I’ve done various stuff but pretty much everything has petered out eventually as it’s lacked focus.

11) What is the most extravagant purchase you’ve ever made, not counting house or car?

I bought my wife a multi diamond encrusted eternity ring from Liberty of London once. Because she’s wonderful and I wanted to.

In terms of for myself, it was probably a pair of Voodoo 2 graphics cards that I SLi’d together back in 1998. They were about £300 each and allowed me to play games with the full bling on for about a months worth of my take home pay between them. The one and final time I ever did anything that stupid with computer components. In my defence I was single, living at my parents, and didn’t get out much but was very very good at Unreal Tournament.

12) If you were to enter Britain’s Got Talent what would your talent be?

I would be difficult to chose between my superpower of walking over Lego barefoot and feeling no pain and my awesome ukulele playing.

Well there you go, you now know more about me than my stalker, Chris, at university did. Right up to the point where I hid under my bed as he tried to break in to my room before I moved. Twice.