I magnanimously decided to make lunch on Saturday, which involved making some salmon sandwiches, some cheese on toast and filling the house with a thick toxic smoke. Actually, that last part wasn’t entirely planned. A plastic tray was on top of the hob when I turned the cooker on and put the grill on to toast the cheese and I failed to check all the knobs were dialled to the off position. Whilst I was busy buttering bread, the cooker was busy melting a whacking great hole in the aforementioned tray.
It was a bit of a disaster all told and to mark this I had to wear the newly christened Hat of Shame. Yes, that’s right, the Hat of Shame is a proper noun because the hat is that shameful to wear: