I think it’s always great when your kids are more than 9 months younger than your marriage as it shows a certain amount of tradition. With the Royal couple, that’s a given as the baby is due in mid July and their second wedding anniversary is 29 April. Good old William, I wonder if his Dad lent him a servant to keep him occupied until the wedding night?*
So then, a play list encapsulating two years of wedded bliss and the fact Kate is undeniably up the duff, as suggested by those clever clogs at Panasonic to celebrate our royalty and their rather nifty NE Series Wireless Speakers (RRP £249). I know which I’d rather have in the sitting room but that’s only because Will would probably hog the telly and insist on putting the episode of Country File his Dad guest edited on again and again.
The Mirror managed a whole front page on newly wed Kate shopping at Waitrose back in 2011. It stops short of showing her mock fellating a cucumber in the chilled vegetable isle but it only mentioned the best part of the story in passing- whilst she was carefully squeezing the produce to ascertain freshness, Will was rescuing by helicopter a 70 year old from Bangor. This leads me nicely on Fiddle’s Dram with Day Trip to Bangor
You will never look at Bangor in the same light again. Just imagine the helicopters in Apocalypse Now playing this instead of Ride of the Valkyries.
Of course being in the military, Will can get away with the buck teeth and premature balding that generations of inbreeding can bring to the royalty if they’re not careful by basically being a Sharp Dressed Man in his military dress uniforms. Did you see what I did there? I could work on radio. The segue was worthy of Mike Reed at his best. Or maybe Dave Lee Travis. Who knows but it’s over to ZZ Top for Sharp Dressed Man.
Mind you Will has done more than brush his teeth and look dashing. Oh yes. And Kate’s not stranger to his wily charms either. Hence the imminent arrival of the next in line but several to the throne of this fair isle. And what better way to celebrate that than Mike Reed and DLT (my God I am some sort of continuity genius) on TOTP introducing Squeeze and Up the Junction.
Naturally the royal sprog will have a bit more cash sloshing around than that, but the choice was Squeeze or Spinal Tap’s unfinished romantic ballad, Lick my Love Pump and since it was unfinished, Squeeze won through.
I strongly believe in lycra on men with long hair. Let me contextualise that with my love of hard rock and heavy metal. If it was good enough for Eddie van Halen (who was lucky enough to join a band called Van Halen- talk about coincidences!), then it’s good enough for me. And bringing all the best excesses of shouty rock and heavy metal back into the popular mainstream (with the exception possibly of the Satanism) a whole ten years ago now, were the Darkness and I Believe in a Thing Called Love
I’m not one of these sort of people who would cynically include something like Goldigger (and probably the Glee soundtrack version at that) in here on the presupposition that Kate was raised with the sole target of being unleashed on some posh toff at university. I don’t think her sole aim in studying at St Andrews was to bag a prince and marry him. Heck they even broke up briefly for what must have been the WORST PERIOD OF HER LIFE EVER.
Finally then, I’m going to get excessively lovey dovey and include a track I’ve mentioned on the blog before, it’s Two Step by the Dave Matthews Band. Some say it’s secretly a song about Noah, his drinking habit and his subsequent hobbies of boat building and animal collecting/breeding but I like to think of it as a rhapsody to being in love with someone.
If you enjoyed my post you can join in because Panasonic UK are running a little blogging competition where if you publish your top 5 Royal Wedding themed songs and tweet them to @PanasonicUKPR with #PanasonicNESeries by midnight on Sunday 21 st April 2013 you stand a chance of winning a Panasonic NE Series. This is my entry, although none of the songs were written by me however I might wish it.