*throws hands up in despair*

Danger was born in January 2012. Since then, I can count on the one finger the number of times wifey and I have been out together. And so it came to pass, on Sunday we had the inlaws booked for babysitting purposes and were going out for dinner to celebrate wifey’s birthday. We were due to go out after bedtime, so I duly bathed and storied all three children and put them to bed. Fifi went down well, Danger went to sleep immediately because he’s like that; he’ll only make a fuss when night is properly upon us.

No sooner had the doorbell gone to announce the arrival of said inlaws that the boy was downstairs, brow furrowed and complaining of aches and pains that hadn’t been apparent fifteen minutes earlier. We left him watching Country File with the inlaws on the sofa and more or less sprinted into town, scoffed a poorly organised meal at Wagamas and jogged back. The boy was still up, watching The Antiques Roadshow with the inlaws.

Our plans to have a quiet drink on the decking whilst enjoying i) each others company & ii) not having a small child hanging off of us were ruined by the boys continued refusal to go to bed. We ended up sitting in our bed with him in the middle and half a cider each watching re-runs of Grand Designs on E4.

No matter though, the follow day was wifey’s actual birthday! After a nice day out (despite me forgetting to pack the picnic) we could look forward to an evening curled up on the sofa watching a film or something and recovering from a very busy weekend.


About 10 minutes after lights out, Fifi started shrieking like a banshee. Over the next hour I was up and down the stairs about 15 times and she weeped, wailed, dropped cold bump patches down the side of her bed, woke Danger up and obviously got the boy feeling so left out he called me in to tell me he felt sick. Eventually we discerned that she had banged her ear bouncing down off her bed, which is something she knows she’s not allowed to do and I’m taking her to the doctors this evening to get it looked at.

Things are a little fraught in our house as it is- we’ve entered week four of the kitchen renovation and it’s hard work. The contents are spread across four removes and Danger, living up to his name, is often getting hold of things that he shouldn’t and waving them around like a lunatic. What would be nice, especially for wifey who has no respite from the kids, is a little bit of peace and quiet once in a while. We know the kids are capable of it because other parents remark how incredibly well behaved our kids are on play dates and we even had an elderly woman compliment wifey on her “exquisite children” when we went out as a family to a restaurant on holiday. It seems they just can’t bear to let us have a moment to ourselves in the evening…