Damn it Nespresso, I want my own spy satellite like George Clooney*

A satellite. May or may not be spying on someone for Clooney

I’m all for brand ambassador schemes, in fact I’ve been in a few myself as a humble blogger. The rewards are a bit different for huge mega famous celebs than they are for plebs like me though. It appears, according to reports in the Telegraph and the Guardian, that George Clooney used the money that Nestle subsidiary Nespresso paid him to buy his own private spy satellite.

In Clooney’s own words:

“Most of the money I make on the [Nespresso] commercials I spend keeping a satellite over the border of North and South Sudan to keep an eye on Omar al-Bashir [the Sudanese dictator charged with war crimes at The Hague]. Then he puts out a statement saying that I’m spying on him and how would I like it if a camera was following me everywhere I went and I go ‘well welcome to my life Mr War Criminal’. I want the war criminal to have the same amount of attention that I get. I think that’s fair.”

I’m in shock. Up to this point I was happy for some pods of coffee on a semi frequent but ultimately random basis, or some toys I have to assemble in the dead of night but this has not just upped the stakes in the card game, it’s changed it to a whole new game, probably involving a D20 dice and a kid unfriendly board.

But it has set me thinking who I would watch if I had my own Nespresso funded spy satellite. I don’t think I’d court as much controversy as George has for tracking Mr War Criminal but it would probably be handy for keeping an eye on Ned as he has a tendency to wander off with no warning whatsoever.

However, given my limited fame and marketability (although I do have a rather dashing ‘tache at the moment), I’ll have to scale my ambitions down. So what I’ll probably end up with is a quadrocopter with a camera on it and some sort of long life battery.

It’s a start isn’t it?

* I suppose I should make it clear that Nespresso haven’t directly funded the spy satellite; it’s not got corporate branding on it or anything. No, Clooney has merely used the money received for appearing in the commercial for buying the aforementioned satellite.