Who ate all the pies?

IMG_20150826_121238333 (2)It’s not unusual that our mornings start with some rather odd demands from Ned. Since he’s three, you can tell his thought process in it’s entirety as he’s not really developed a proper internal monologue quite yet. His normal conversation goes like this:

Can I have the TV on?

No, it’s only 6am.

Can I have some sweets?

No, it’s only 6am.

Can I have my breakfast?

That in a nutshell is his order of importance. Still, this morning he excelled himself, possibly because the television was already on.

Can I have a pie?

A pie? Not for breakfast, no. We don’t have any pies anyway.

There’s a box of pies downstairs. I’ll put one in a bowl and have it.

Oh, you mean mince pies? No it’s breakfast time.

I’ll say okay but then put one in a bowl anyway and take it in to the sitting room and eat it, ha ha!

You can’t, there aren’t any left.

Who ate all the pies?

At this point I missed the golden opportunity to teach him the “who ate all the pies” football chant and I’m still kicking myself!