Now I’m facing my fears with the help of AXA PPP healthcare, I’m actually facing my fears with help from AXA PPP healthcare– I spent an hour on the telephone with one of their physiologists who is also a mental health first aider. It’s all very well girding your loins and setting your goals but sometimes you need a bit of help in facing, what many perceive to be, the peril. In this instance, my peril, in inverted commas, is the fear that I’ll have a premature death and leave my family to cope without a dad or husband (the kids without a dad, my wife without a husband before you get any funny ideas). Rather than thinking of this fear as a peril, I can harness it positively, by taking steps to improve my fitness and with a healthier diet. Unlike Sir Galahad, who obviously needed no help facing the peril:
Lancelot:You were in great peril.
Galahad: I don’t think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Lancelot: No, it’s far too perilous.
Galahad: Look, it’s my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
If there’s one thing I’m never backwards in coming forward about it’s talking about myself and the AXA professional Becky was super awesome in focusing the Alex stream of consciousness into the areas that needed it the most. In fact by the end of our session I was in full on Galahad mode and wanting to face the peril, no matter how perilous. It’s funny how some external input can really help you harness the positive potential of those fears full on isn’t it?
We worked through my issues, which were a mixture of diet, exercise and a lot of apathy, and Becky came up with a three point plan:
- Reduce weight to less than 100kg – as you mentioned breaking this number is a big barrier psychologically. Don’t forget you have already dropped a trouser size through the addition of walking to work so you are well on your way to achieving this.
- Increase activity level, keep up with football and walking to work but build core strength too. Could you link this with the children as supports, just like running with your 9 year old, could you find an activity to do with the others once a week too?
- Improve the quality of your diet, specifically lunches when you are away from your wife. Don’t worry too much about calories, let’s look into nutritious rich foods. Take leftover dinners to work or cook yourself something – don’t forget you enjoy cooking so hopefully this will be a positive aspect of routine rather than a chore. Planning is key here!
Right now my knees are aching something rotten; I played five a side last night and by the end of it was really beginning to suffer (I am 43 and overweight!) but I was still out today racking up the steps. And while steps don’t mean prizes, they do mean kilometres, and in the long run the prize is conquering my fear of an early departure from this mortal life, so I suppose it is a prize in a way. I walked to work so fast on Tuesday that the GPS assisted activity tracker I was using categorised it as a run rather than walking! Every time I feel like dawdling on my walk to work, I think about lying in bed worrying how my kids would cope with everyday growing up milestones- transitioning to secondary school, sitting their GCSEs, getting a first girlfriend or boyfriend- without me there to help them along the way. To be honest it’s still very easy to lay awake at night with those worries but I am at least utilising that fear to drive me on to a healthier me.
I was particularly impressed with some of the tools and resources AXA PPP healthcare gave me to help with this progress. There is a great resource called Food for Thought that Becky emailed me that not only did the normal sort of “eat brown bread because it’s better for you” jazz, but also had a mood & food diary, with specific minerals and foodstuffs that could help improve your state of mind. I never knew that processing alcohol, your body uses thiamin, zinc and other nutrients and this can deplete your reserves, especially if your diet is poor.
After my first hour consultation, I get 20 minutes a month to catch up to make sure I’m still on track. This weekend, I’m following advice and taking the kids for an excessively long cross country hike followed by a nice swim to warm us all up!
To find out how fears can hold us back and watch a video by leading psychologist, Dr Mark Winwood, about ‘How to set your fear’ so you can turn it into a motivating tool, visit AXA PPP healthcare’s Own Your Fears website: www.axappphealthcare.co.uk/