Getting some practical help from AXA PPP healthcare in facing my own fears!

Now I’m facing my fears with the help of AXA PPP healthcare, I’m actually facing my fears with help from AXA PPP healthcare– I spent an hour on the telephone with one of their physiologists who is also a mental health first aider. It’s all very well girding your loins and setting your goals but sometimes you need a bit of help in facing, what many perceive to be, the peril. In this instance, my peril, in inverted commas, is the fear that I’ll have a premature death and leave my family to cope without a dad or husband (the kids without a dad, my wife without a husband before you get any funny ideas). Rather than thinking of this fear as a peril, I can harness it positively, by taking steps to improve my fitness and with a healthier diet.  Unlike Sir Galahad, who obviously needed no help facing the peril:

Lancelot:You were in great peril.
Galahad: I don’t think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Lancelot: No, it’s far too perilous.
Galahad: Look, it’s my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.

If there’s one thing I’m never backwards in coming forward about it’s talking about myself and the AXA professional Becky was super awesome in focusing the Alex stream of consciousness into the areas that needed it the most. In fact by the end of our session I was in full on Galahad mode and wanting to face the peril, no matter how perilous. It’s funny how some external input can really help you harness the positive potential of those fears full on isn’t it?

We worked through my issues, which were a mixture of diet, exercise and a lot of apathy, and Becky came up with a three point plan:

  1. Reduce weight to less than 100kg – as you mentioned breaking this number is a big barrier psychologically. Don’t forget you have already dropped a trouser size through the addition of walking to work so you are well on your way to achieving this.
  2. Increase activity level, keep up with football and walking to work but build core strength too. Could you link this with the children as supports, just like running with your 9 year old, could you find an activity to do with the others once a week too?
  3. Improve the quality of your diet, specifically lunches when you are away from your wife. Don’t worry too much about calories, let’s look into nutritious rich foods. Take leftover dinners to work or cook yourself something – don’t forget you enjoy cooking so hopefully this will be a positive aspect of routine rather than a chore. Planning is key here!

Right now my knees are aching something rotten; I played five a side last night and by the end of it was really beginning to suffer (I am 43 and overweight!) but I was still out today racking up the steps. And while steps don’t mean prizes, they do mean kilometres, and in the long run the prize is conquering my fear of an early departure from this mortal life, so I suppose it is a prize in a way. I walked to work so fast on Tuesday that the GPS assisted activity tracker I was using categorised it as a run rather than walking! Every time I feel like dawdling on my walk to work, I think about lying in bed worrying how my kids would cope with everyday growing up milestones- transitioning to secondary school, sitting their GCSEs, getting a first girlfriend or boyfriend- without me there to help them along the way. To be honest it’s still very easy to lay awake at night with those worries but I am at least utilising that fear to drive me on to a healthier me.

I was particularly impressed with some of the tools and resources AXA PPP healthcare gave me to help with this progress. There is a great resource called Food for Thought that Becky emailed me that not only did the normal sort of “eat brown bread because it’s better for you” jazz, but also had a mood & food diary, with specific minerals and foodstuffs that could help improve your state of mind. I never knew that processing alcohol, your body uses thiamin, zinc and other nutrients and this can deplete your reserves, especially if your diet is poor.

After my first hour consultation, I get 20 minutes a month to catch up to make sure I’m still on track. This weekend, I’m following advice and taking the kids for an excessively long cross country hike followed  by a nice swim to warm us all up!

To find out how fears can hold us back and watch a video by leading psychologist, Dr Mark Winwood, about ‘How to set your fear’ so you can turn it into a motivating tool, visit AXA PPP healthcare’s Own Your Fears website: www.axappphealthcare.co.uk/ownyourfears.

Nozstock 20: headliners announced!

Nozstock: The Hidden Valley celebrates its 20 th anniversary this summer!

  • The festival is very proud to announce its first artists, including headliners Chase & Status (DJ set + Rage), Goldfrapp and Grandmaster Flash
  • Live performances from The Selecter, Dub Pistols, Electric Swing Circus, Kiko Bun, The Lovely Eggs, Oh My God! It’s The Church and DJ sets from DJ Marky & G.Q, Black Sun Empire, S.P.Y, Audio, Dillinja, Randall and many more
  • The theme for the 20 th anniversary is Nozstalgia – anything from Gameboys and Ghostbusters to the Karate Kid and flared jeans
  • Festival takes place across an idyllic working farm set in beautiful countryside
  • Little Wonderland Kids’ Area returns with plenty of fun, magic and inspiration for children of all ages and their families – and it’s all free!
  • Nozstock runs from Fri 20 th – Sun 22 and July 2017
  • Tickets from £120 for adults / from £95 for 13-16 year olds / 12 and under free payment by instalment is available
    For full festival info go to: www.nozstock.com
  • Check out the festival’s video here

This summer Nozstock: The Hidden Valley celebrates its 20th anniversary, entering a small group of
festivals who have reached two decades of creating magic each summer. It’s a huge achievement for the
family-fun festival which is set across their working farm in the rolling hills of Herefordshire. It is an
event which has grown from a group of like-minded friends gathered together many years ago into a truly
mesmeric experience of wonder and enchantment for all the ages, including the return of the Little
Wonderland Kids’ Area – a huge family favourite.

Nozstock The Hidden Valley’s Little Wonderland Kids’ Area features a vibrant spectrum of children’s
entertainment for everyone to enjoy, which will be linked into this year’s theme of Nozstalgia. The festival
embraces a whole family festival experience from beginning to end, and this is a friendly welcoming
environment for both parents and little ones alike. All are welcome to get creative, be amazed by
wondrous stories, sculptures and entertainment, or roll their sleeves up for some physical fun. All events
and activities are free of charge in the Little Wonderland Kids’ Area across the whole weekend, as the
festival always strongly believes families shouldn’t foot the bill for festival fun. There’s even a bottle
warming service!

Click for bigger

Ella Nosworthy, who runs Nozstock with her father, says: “No-one is more surprised than us that we’ve
made it to our 20th birthday! We’re planning our biggest show ever to make it a real celebration, and we’re sure that anyone who has been to the festival will not want to miss this summer! We’ve bought back
some of our favourite and most memorable artists from the past 20 years. Our Nozstalgia theme is
whatever you feel fond about from the past. There’s lots of inspiration to get really creative!”

The Nozstock team are incredibly proud to be revealing the first round of artists joining them for their
momentous birthday celebrations. As ever, it’s a kaleidoscopic mix of headline names, up and coming
talent and seasoned stars forming an incredible range of styles across the event’s ten intimate stages.
Headlining The Orchard, electronic floor fillers Chase & Status are one of the most successful acts
associated with drum and bass, with multi-platinum albums, numerous charting singles, and working with
the likes of Rihanna. Electronic pop duo Goldfrapp are an enchanting force, releasing iridescent,
intriguing pop since 1999 across 7 highly respected albums. The Selecter are a 2-Tone ska band featuring
a racially diverse and politically charged line-up, whilst over a 20-year career the Dub Pistols have
worked with heroes like The Specials and Madness. Electric Swing Circus is a 6-strong fusion of saucy
20s swing and stomping electro beats, and The Lovely Eggs are a lo-fi psychedelic punk rock band.
Next up are the The Stiff Joints, a 10-piece ska army with a raucous infusion of ska, punk and reggae,
and as Oh My God! It’s The Church encourage all sinners to join them, Mr Tea and The Minions
bring their gypsy flavoured ska and swing. Mad Apple Circus is an original blend of horn-fuelled styles
and Buffo’s Wake are gypsy punk lunatics with a taste for the macabre.

Over in The Garden, rap royalty Grandmaster Flash was a member of his ground-breaking hip-hop
group with the Furious Five and developed never heard before turntable techniques; he brings his
incredible party-rocking acumen to the stage. Speaking of legends, Chali 2na MC, painter and founding
member of hip-hop supergroup Jurassic 5 returns to The Garden alongside Krafty Kutz; the multi
award-winning DJ and undisputed King of Breaks. Nozstock fave DJ Marky has worked with Madonna,
and Fatboy Slim as well as releasing his own albums fusing drum and bass with full-tilt club beats and
laid-back house grooves, and hip-hop duo Taskforce bring street stories and psychedelic flows, whilst
living legends Verb T and Pitch 92 will bring an odyssey in rhyme and funk. The dextrous lyricist and
M.C of High Focus Records, Fliptrix brings his seamless semantics, Serial Killaz are drum and bass
jungle producers signed to Playaz Recordings and London reggae artist Kiko Bun is surfing a dubby
resurgence all the way to the top. Not forgetting Pengshui, made up of hip-hop heavyweights Illaman,
Fatty Bassman & Prav. The festival’s birthday celebrations will hit their peak with Saturday nights ska and skank party, headlined by Macka B, who after 30 years continues to tour the world and break down
barriers and with Sunday’s special 20 th anniversary drum ‘n’ bass party.

At The Bandstand Frauds are a post-hardcore band, whilst Average Sex have been snapped up by Tim
Burgess& label O Genesis Recordings. Elephants’ Grave stars Sonny Wharton; a firm fixture in the house and techno scene, whilst Dom Kane’s tracks have been supported by Pete Tong, Deadmau5, and more.
Dirty Secretz is one of house music & most exciting artists, releasing on Stealth and Whartone Records.
Friday nights welcomes Pro-Ject, providing the true house grooves, whilst in the daytime Ital Sounds
reggae collective are ready to provide the rocksteady rhythms.

The Cabinet of Lost Secrets features 7Suns’ music in an energizing blend of Afro, Latin, Caribbean, funk,
jazz and rock, The Pink Diamond Revue are an electro-punk duo who play in front of a big screen
projecting images they have cut up themselves from old B-movies, and Collective 43 are a multi-
instrumental congregation steeped heavy with New Orleans-street style and twists of blues and jazz. And
across the site there’s plenty more to choose from. Phil Kay’s unpredictable and freestyle approach won
him a Perrier nomination in 1993 and the award for best stand-up at the 1994 British Comedy Awards,
and Jayde Adams is a multi-faceted comedian of hilarious repute. The Wrong Directions Cinetent is
hosted by local experimental collective MASH Cinema, whilst The Sunken Yard are connoisseurs of a
very good time indeed. Puppetual Motion present a wide variety of visually stunning aerial acts and
Hummadruz are an ultra-violet theatre group dedicated to performing astonishing psychedelic spectacle.
Andrew Szydlo brings chemistry to life with his spectacular demonstrations, whilst the fabulous Little
Wonderland Kids Area keeps children of all ages enraptured throughout the whole weekend. A new and improved Craft Area wows with a chance to learn from the masters. Workshops on offer include
blacksmithing, spoon carving and plant propagation plus amazing demonstrations and communal
sculpture building with a fiery destiny…

 

Tickets from £120 for adults / from £95 for 13-16 year olds / 12 and under free / Booking fees apply /

 

I asked my kids for their favourite song and the results were gratifying

It’s a universally held fact that music was better in the day. It doesn’t matter which day you’re talking about, it was just better. Our parents complained about the rubbish we listened to, and no doubt their parents did too, just as we think most of the guff our kids generation is in to is rubbish.

So, over dinner the other night, preempting the 10 year old’s any questions session, where he likes to go round the table and ask people an either/or question, I decided to ask the kids what their favourite song was.

The boy, aged 10

I was impressed. I thought he might go for some Nerdest (they do songs based on videogames and are particularly popular on YouTube) or some bloke in a white suit with a plastic bin on his head called Marshmello but he actually picked Wonderwall by Oasis. Wonderwall is 23 years old now, and if a ten year old me had to pick a 23 year old song, it would have been from 1962 and probably If I had a Hammer by Peter Paul and Mary.

Fifi, aged 9

I have to admit I had no idea what to expect from my daughter. She quite often puts on My Old Man’s a Dustman by Lonnie Donegan, and does a little dance to it. Equally she likes current pop and rock. She initially gave one song but then changed it to another, so I’m going to include both here.

Dido I can deal with in the sense that it’s a nice song. Bobby Vee’s Night of a Thousand Eyes though?! It turns out her granddad gave her an iPod Shuffle that had both songs on it and those are the two that she really liked. How awesome is that? Not least because the Bobby Vee video is a bit bonkers.

Ned, aged 6

Although Ned has now progressed to the “confident reader, aged 5-8” section of Waterstones, getting things like song titles out of him still remains a challenge. And it was no different here as his choice was “the song with an elephant in the video”. That doesn’t narrow it down much, so we had to fire up the TV and let him browse the YouTube music videos. Just as well we did as I’m not entirely sure we’d have got to Paradise by Coldplay on our own.

There is something very cool about hearing a 6 year old sing along to pop songs.

The runners up

We spent the rest of the evening playing our favourite songs on YouTube, taking it in turns to pick a song out and make everyone else listen to it.

The kids came up with some great songs:

  • Bastille by Pompeii (or the aaaa,aaaa,aaaa song as Ned calls it)
  • Symphony of Destruction by Megadeth (the boy was born to this, it’s his anthem)
  • Wolves by Selma Gomez and Marshmello
  • The Chain by Fleetwood Mac
  • All the Small Things by Blink 182

And we had an entire evening without television!

The best thing about the whole impromptu music evening was the lack of really contemporary music, because lets face it, music today is rubbish

The Daddacool guide to attending the Royal Ballet

We went to the Royal Opera House to see some ballet at the weekend and I thought I’d share my top tips in case you want to seem some exciting ballet yourself as part of a programme of self improvement and culture. We love culture in our house, we’ve dragged the kids round more museums, galleries and theatres than you could shake a stick at in a no doubt stylised ritualistic fashion, and they’re even beginning to enjoy it now.

So without further ado, these are my top tips for attending the ballet with your children. Or without them, it’s entirely up to you. It’s cheaper if you leave them with their grandparents. Should that be a tip? Who knows…

  • If you have vertigo, don’t book the upper slips. They might be (relatively) cheap but if you have to spend two hours feeling the clarion call of the void pulling you towards a long drop to oblivion, it’s probably not worth it.
  • Take the time to find out how the ballet you’re attending is pronounced. For example Giselle isn’t pronounced like chisel and you’ll get some funny looks if you repeatedly get it wrong in front of people who aren’t in the cheap seats.
  • Take some time before you go to read up on the story. Ballet is at best interpretive dance and at worst just people prancing around on a set. What they dance doesn’t give much away of what is actually happening and I’ve yet to decode what a chap jumping up with his arms by his side, scissoring his legs frenetically actually means in the context of story/emotion or anything else.
  • Ensure you find out where all the toilets are and make sure any accompanying children have been toileted three or four times before the ballet starts. The seats are quite closely packed and the amount of tutting that will ensue if you have to get up during part of the performance is astonishing but rest assured, if you do have to go out, you won’t miss anything critical to your understanding of the story; it’ll just be some prancing about and funny jumping, which whilst nice isn’t critical to your enjoyment as the whole thing is made up of prancing about and funny jumping.
  • The ladies doing ballet get to do all the cool stuff and the men look a bit daft. All the chaps get to do is the aforementioned jumpy thing (like a posher form of Riverdance), some long strides and a few lifts. The ladies get to do all the spinning around, graceful jumping and stand with their leading foot at a funny angle.
  • The ballet we saw was around 100 minutes (with an interval in the middle), followed by about 2 hours of applause and bowing, presumably on a pre-agreed rota to give the performers a chance for a cup of tea or a wee, which meant that the troupe had about 45 seconds before they had to do the performance all over again for the next bunch of punters. Try to moderate your applause or your hands will sting and you’ll swear all you can hear is clapping for the rest of the day.

We had a lovely time, even if Ned, 6, asked in a loud whisper at one point when were they going to start talking because he couldn’t work out what was happening. There is also a nice sandwich shop round the corner that’s good for lunch.

The futures so bright, I gotta wear cords

When I was a nipper trouser wear was different to what it is today. It wasn’t so much focused on denim, and there were plenty of other options out there. My mum always used to put me and my little brother in corduroy. I liked wearing cords myself, because they were lighter than denim, and cooler in the summer, and you could get them in great different colours. None the less my lasting memory of wearing cords in the 1980’s ended up with me getting a telling off that in proper Beano style, saw me putting my bottom in a sink of ice cold water.

My brother and I were a right pair of little outdoors boys in the 80’s. This meant climbing trees, crawling through gaps in fences, down storm drains, building dens, damming rivers and everything that we probably shouldn’t have been doing. So when I got home from school one nice spring day my mind was solely dedicated to going out and playing. I was still at primary school, so I would have been 9 or ten at the time and I was unimpressed to find a pair of new trousers set out on my bed for me to change in to. Yes, I was that child that had my outfits selected for me on a daily basis. And I’m not ashamed. So being nine, and essentially one of the Goonies (in my own mind at least), I wasn’t going to let a brand new pair of trousers get in the way of having fun.

Wish I had let a brand new pair of trousers get in the way of having fun but hindsight is a wonderful thing isn’t it?

My brother and I hadn’t been out more than half an hour, and there wasn’t too much mud on my new trousers when I managed to rip them over a pocket squirming through a hole in a wire mesh fence. I immediately felt the hot rush of panic and we both pegged it back home. Mum did that trick of thinning her lips until they disappeared and told me rather ominously to wait until my father got home. I railed against the injustice of it all, it was surely my mums’ fault for making me wear new trousers on such a fine sunny day. New trousers should be held in reserve for the sort of day wherein one visits elderly relatives, not a day when the world needs exploring and taming.

Right now I own a couple of items of corduroy, because denim isn’t suitable for all occasions is it? I’ve been know to wear a cord jacket and corduroy trousers but not together, that’s a bad a crime as decking yourself head to foot in denim isn’t it?

Chums are one of the online retailers driving the reintroduction of corduroy into the mainstream but for some of us, it never really went away and I see this as a vindication of my denim aversion that’s been going on ever since I was a student.

As you can see, for reasons unknown I don’t feature in the above infographic on the history of corduroy. I should but I’ll let them off this once as I frolic through the park on my way home to change out of my suit into some soft soft cord trousers.

Hori ONYX Bluetooth Wireless Controller for PlayStation 4

I love my PS4. I also love my Xbox One. I don’t really love the Dual Shock 4 controller though, the thumb sticks are in the wrong place for me and the overall ergonomics of the pad sometimes suggest to me I’m not doing as well as I might. I have no such issue with the Xbox One controller (any iteration of it), so when I saw that Hori had an officially licensed controller due out with what they helpfully refer to as “Offset Analogue Stick Layout”, I was excited.

Offset Analogue Stick Layout is another way of saying, hey! We’ve copied the thing that makes the Xbox One controller better!

I have several cross platform games on both the Xbox One and the PS4 (I have the X version of the Xbox One and the Pro version of the PS4 if you’re interested), and in some games, Star Wars Battlefront, Geometry Wars Evolved and Ultratron being the three that spring immediately to mind, I find them much easier to play on the Xbox One as the left analogue stick, usually the one used for movement, is situated slightly higher on the controller. View Full Post

Got an Xbox One S for Christmas?

I’ve seen a massive uptick on views of videos and posts mentioning Xbox’s in the last week or so, and I’m imagining that this has a lot to do with some of the stonking deals Microsoft had on it’s Xbox One S over the festive period.

The One S has been out a little over a year and it’s probably pound for pound the best value console on the market at the moment. For under £200 you can pick up a One S with a game or two, that will also play Blu Ray movies and the newer 4K/UHD Blu Ray movies that the PS4 can’t (this is rather embarrassing as Sony is actually on the standard setting body for Blu Ray).

Given that Microsoft now own Minecraft, it’s also a great console for playing Minecraft on, as our lad showed me last year:


Here are a few tips and tricks to get the most out of your Xbox One S, happy gaming! View Full Post

EDF Energy Pretty Curious- encouraging girls into STEM

Our daughter Fifi is going to be 9 in January and she’s already got her mind set on being a vet. She watches vet TV shows and manhandles our long suffering cat constantly. We’re lucky, most girls get put off STEM (Science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) at an early age because it’s really pushed at boys. All the yuck experiment books are very much aimed at boys, all the circuit board sets have boys on the cover (and, oh, the older brother hogs the PS4, which is definitely “technology”!).

This is why campaigns like Pretty Curious from EDF Energy are so important. Girls generally perform better at school than boys (especially at primary level), and even though Fifi is a whizz at maths, I get the distinct feeling that the system won’t encourage her to pursue it, which is a shame.

Fortunately in popular culture things are starting to change, and Disney has helped drive this. With Rey in the new Star Wars trilogy (the Force Awakens and the Last Jedi, which was out this week), and Jyn in Rogue One, we have female leads in science fiction, showing girls that sci-fi and girls mix. So a tie up between Pretty Curious and the Last Jedi makes super sense and great fun for Fifi who got sent a Little Bits Droid kit to build:

I think it’s great Fifi had such fun building the Droid, especially as it’s a toy that it would be so easy to give a boy. In fact, in almost ten years of blogging, I’d have to say 99% of the time, I’d only get offered things like this to review for the boy. Fifi always gets short changed, and it’s exacerbated by the fact I often get boys stuff offered to me as I’m a dad, despite the fact I have a daughter as well!

There is also a 360 degree virtual reality tour of the best that STEM has to offer girls.

We can all do a bit to encourage our daughters to look more towards STEM careers and interests, so what are you waiting for? Jump in!

Win a family ticket to Nozstock the Hidden Valley 2018!

Nozstock The Hidden Valley – celebrating 20 years! 
Friday 20th – 22nd July 2018
@ Rowden Paddocks, Bromyard, Herefordshire, HR7 4LS
Tickets: From £115 for adults / From £95 teens / 12s and under free
www.nozstock.com / @Nozstock

Artists TBA January 2018

In July 2018 Nozstock The Hidden Valley will reach its 20th anniversary, entering a small group of festivals who have reached two decades of creating magic each summer. Starting from very humble beginnings its founding ethos remains part of the festival to the present, with Nozstock not only a genuine weekend of escapism far from the madding crowds, but also one which has kept the same flourishing spirit each and every summer; it’s a very family festival with abundant charm, integrity and authenticity at every turn, as well as amazing fun across the beautiful site set on a working farm in Bromyard, attracting one of the country’s most wonderfully diverse audiences whether newbies coming for the very first time or seasoned festival goers.

Curated by the father and daughter duo of Noz and Ella and a huge extended family who work across the entire festival, there’s a unique energy to Nozstock unlike anything else in the country. The festival features a huge range of entertainment, activities and inspiration for families and kids, with games, pop-up performances, and workshops at every turn.

It’s going to be an incredible weekend for everyone who comes Nozstock’s 20th anniversary!

 a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

Terms and conditions

Prize is non transferable, no cash alternative is offered, if the winner does not respond within 5 days of being chosen, an alternative winner will be picked.

You will have to provide your own transport to the festival and the competition is open to residents of the UK only

The prize is offered by Nozstock The Hidden Valley and the promoter, Daddacool, shall not be held responsible for their failure to supply the prize.

I’ve been threatened with legal action!

It came as a bit of surprise to me, a bolt out of the blue in fact. There I was simply minding my own business, reading my book and listening to some music when the sudden threat of immediate punishing legal action hit me.

 

BAM!

The five year old wasn’t happy that he had to have a bath, and wasn’t going to have any truck with my attempts to get him in to it:

“I’m calling my lawyer, you’re going to prison! You’ll regret making me have a bath!”

Stone me, I never thought it would come to this. Goodness knows where he’s got that from either, we’re not a litigious household. We once contacted a lawyer over a constructive dismissal case but were told that the employer would just stretch it out until the claim (which we had good grounds to win) was exceeded by the legal costs, so we didn’t bother. Other than that, it’s been house moves and wills and nothing else.

I managed to talk him down by promising to read his bed time story but it was a close thing. I need to be more careful next time!