But let’s rewind things a tad and deal with the paradoxical concept of a “secret” cuddle. Basically it involves snuggling up on my lap for a nice cuddle and shouting as loudly as you can “Me and Daddy are having a secret cuddle!!!”, complete with the multiple exclamation marks (they’re important you see). This usually brings at least one other child running and causes what might be considered a fracas in true Top Gear style- punches are often thrown.
The secret cuddle itself stems from a bit of child oneupmanship (is that one word or three or even four? I can’t be bothered to check). They all like to have a bit of attention but after a while that’s not enough and they have to have the attention at the expense of someone else. Any of my kids could theoretically turn out to be a modern day Conan the Barbarian, who when asked what was best in life, replied, “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!” They all seem to have that ruthless streak in them…