The 5 a side tournament of DOOM

Last week I took part in the first competitive 5 a side game I’ve played since I was in my late 20s. We used to play in the Power League down in Mill Hill, a mixture of work people, we usually had a pool of around ten people to call on and it was good fun. Work even picked up the tab but we did have to wear the work kit, which was a little embarrassing. I’ll never forget the time we played a team of enormous muscle men- they looked incredibly intimidating; much like Arnie in Conan but after 20 minutes of running around it became obvious that they didn’t have the physiques for running about a lot- they were just too heavy.

Anyway, around a dozen years on now, it’s me that’s too heavy unfortunately. Although I play footy once a week and go down the gym three or so times a week, I’m simply not used to the frenetic activity that five a side demands. I’d gone into it with the best intentions, done my stretches (tight groin you know), and even had pasta for lunch but short of a prolonged period on some sort of sport nutrition supplement I don’t think anything I do at 40 odd years old is going to make a huge amount of difference.

Still, I’ve got the fact I’m a mean table football player, and of course a red hot FIFA player (PS4), to fall back on, so it’s not the end of the world exactly…