The breakfast of champions

I’ve never been a great fan of breakfast, and I can empathise with the subject of this breakfast tweet, what can be better than a can of Irn Bru and a choccy bar for breakfast?

When I was a nipper we had Rice Krispies for breakfast. And by that I mean at some point in the dim and distant past, my parents decided we liked Rice Krispies and settled on those for the next 10 years. It was breakfast cereal fascism of the highest order, although thankfully we didn’t get involved in any revolutions in Spain. Just the Rice Krispies.

So when I escaped to university at 18, my breakfast habits changed somewhat. Initially there was the debauched phase where I cooked bacon every morning and gorged on butties to set me up for the day. However this did neither my waistline nor my affected can’t be arsed approach to life any good, so I turned to the dark side. And ironically, it was just as rigid in its formula as my old Rice Krispie breakfast of all those years.

Every morning I’d wake up, assess the severity of my hangover, decide whether I’d go to my morning lectures, have a cup of tea and stroll down to the newsagent on campus and buy the following:- Daily Telegraph (10p for students, great football coverage), Mars Bar, packet of Real McCoy Salt & Vinegar crisps, packet of tomato Wheat Crunchies and a can of Diet Coke. I’d sit in a Porters Lodge, and break my fast in exactly the same way every morning. Mars Bar first, followed by the Wheat Crunchies and then the McCoys last. I know some would have savoury first and the chocolate bar for pudding, but not me.

I mention my old regime, now replaced with either a piece of fruit as I walk to work, or more often than not nothing, because it’s a struggle for me to get the kids into a good breakfast routine. Fifi, with her lust for food, is quite endeared of cereal, liking most of them, although she has recently gone the route of yoghurt, and lots of it but it’s the boy that’s the problem. On a good day he’ll dutifully eat some buttered toast but more often than not he’ll demand stuff like a cheese wrap, or a tuna sandwich. Yesterday he demanded a salmon roll for breakfast and that wasn’t particularly unusual. The thing is he point blank wont eat what he doesn’t want and wifey and I both know how important breakfast is for kids in terms of nutrition and concentration. So his eclectic breakfasts continue unabated. How long before he’s sitting there reading a paper with a can of Diet Coke and a Mars Bar?